


heathens galore

by Nervouslaughter508



Category: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beatrix and Hort Are Best Friends, Fluff, Humor, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Memes, Multi, Nevers are so emo they're not, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pop Culture, References to Drugs, Ships are everywhere, Swearing, Teenage Dorks, Teenage Drama, ah who am i kidding lots of drug references, at least i think, but its not that bad, evers are just evil preps, group chat au, sorry i dont make the rules, they like to roast tedros a lot, wow theres a lot of characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-10-09 00:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 12,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17397080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nervouslaughter508/pseuds/Nervouslaughter508
Summary: Sophie just was bored. Then this monster happened.Agatha never wanted to know everyone's hidden talents, if Pepsi was better then coco-cola, the fact they liked to mock cowboys, who the real queen of the GC is, the closeted memers, and who's the school's drug dealer. But she doesn't mind that much.Tedros just wants people to stop roasting him about his dad.





	1. Chapter 1

_Sophie has made a chat title “Queen and two peasants”_  
_Sophie has changed her name to Queen’_

_Sophie has invited Agatha and Tedros to “Queen and two peasants”_

**Queen** \- Guess who the peasants are

 **Agatha** -the other two people in the chat

 **Tedros** \- omg y soph

 **Queen** \- I was bored

 _ **Queen** has changed _Agathas _name to pretty peasant_

_**Queen** has changed Tedros name to peasant_

**Peasant** \- rude much sophie

 **Queen** \- I love you tooo

 **Pretty Peasant** \- The pretty doesn’t even it out

 **Queen** \- Of course it does

 **Peasant** \- i’m a prince

 **Pretty Peasant-** iM a PrInCe

 **Queen** \- slay aggy

 **Queen** \- slay

 **Pretty Peasant** \- can i invite my friends

 **Queen** \- What friends? I thought I was your only (girl) friend. Tedros is just your boyfriend

 **Pretty Peasant** \- We’re dating. I have other friends.

 **Peasant** \- no. no she can not

 **Queen** \- Oc you can babe

 **Peasant** \- u’ll see

 _Pretty Peasant has invited Hester, Anadil_ and _Dot to “Queen and two peasants”_

 **Queen** \- Really Aggy? I vouched for you. 

 **Hester** \- um whats this?

 **Anadil** \- And can I leave?

 **Pretty Peasant** \- GC Sophie made

 **Hester** \- can i leave?

 **Dot** \- Oh, fun!

 **Peasant** \- hey guys it me tedros

_**Hester** has left “Queen and two peasants”_

_**Anadil** has left “Queen and two peasants”_

**Peasant** \- nice

_**Dot** has added Hester and Anadil to “Queen and two peasants”_

**Dot** \- we suffer together

 **Hester** \- fuck. change my name first though.

 _ **Queen** has changed _Hesters _name to_ bitchwitch

_**Queen** has changed Anadils name to Rat kid_

_**Queen** has changed Dots name to _iminlovew _/_ thecoco

 **Peasant** \- accurate

 **Queen** \- Ikr

 **Rat kid** \- Really?

 **Queen** \- seemed right. I’ll change it l8ter

 **bitchwitch** \- i like mine

 **Peasant** \- ofc u would

 **bitchwitch** \- tedros i can beat you up over chat

 **Peasant** \- ok...

 **Queen** has changed peasants name to daddyissues

 **Queen** \- Hester made me sorry honey

 **daddyissues** \- ( ͡ಥ ͜ʖ ͡ಥ)

 **Pretty Peasants-** lol nice name babe

 **iminlovew** / **thecoco** \- you know in that song coco didn’t mean the beverage

 **Queen** \- Duh. I’m not dumb.

 **iminlovew/thecoco-** ok so…..

 **Queen** -Do you have anything to confess Dot?

 **Pretty peasant** \- oh shit

 **Pretty Peasant-** OH SHIT

 **bitchwitch** \- wtf you holding out on us dot?

 **Rat kid** \- done.

 **iminlovew/thecoco** \- im not on drugs!

 **Queen** \- Whos the school dealer?

 **Pretty Peasant-** idk

 **daddyissues** \- why is my name daddyissues

 **Queen** \- Cuz.

 **Rat Kid-** Ask hort hes always getting high in class

i **minlovew/thecoco** \- why are we doing this?

 **Queen** \- oh I just wanna know. If you are or aren’t on drugs, idc

_**Queen** has added Hort to “Queen and two peasants”_

**Hort** \- wtf

 **Hort** \- sophie?

 **daddyissues** \- are u guys trying to get me to leave the chat?

 **bitchwitch** \- yeah. Hey hort whos ur dealer?

 **Hort** \- what is this who is everyone

 **Rat kid** \- this is satan bitch

 **Hort** \- what the fuck

 **Rat kid** \- just kidding its Anadil

 **Queen** \- Its hell though

 **Hort** \- he’ll kill me if i tell any1

 **Pretty Peasant-** so its a male...

 **daddyissues** \- pity

 **Hort** \- tedros shut up ur dad doesnt love you

 **daddyissues** \- wtf why does everyone roast me about my dad

 **daddyissues** \- at least i have a dad

 **Queen** \- Teddy!

 _ **Hort** has kicked _daddyissues _from chat_

 _ **Pretty Peasant** has added _daddyissues _to chat_

 **bitchwitch** _-_ thats _why ur screwed up_

 **daddyissues** \- agatha got to invite her asshole friends can i invite mine

 **Queen** \- Yes you can invite your asshole friends teddy

 **daddyissues** _has invited Chaddick, Nicholas, Beatrix_ and _Reena to “Queen and two peasants”_


	2. the one where everyone cusses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh no the preps

**Chaddick** \- really? who are these people

 

 **bitchwitch** \- fuck, the preps are here

 

 **Reena** \- Hester

 

 **iminlovew/thecoco-** she got you

 

 **Reena** \- Dot

 

 **Pretty Peasant-**....lol

 

 **Reena** \- Agatha. This is easy

 

 **Reena** \- And Tedros is daddy issues, obvi

 

 **Hort** \- can i get a new un

 

_Queen has changed Horts name to druggedweasel_

 

 **druggedweasel** \- lol nice

 

 **Chaddick** \- I want one too

 

 **Beatrix** \- What even is this Tedros

 

 **daddyissues** \- hell but theres 2 cute girls

 

 **Beatrix** \- sounds good

 

 **bitchwitch** \- can we continue talking about the drug dealer

 

 **Nicholas** \- Ravan?

 

 **Rat Kid** \- Ravan is the drug dealer? Its more likely then you think.

 

 **iminlovew/thecoco-** Free PC check today!

 

 **Daddyissues** \- nice meme usage

 

 **Rat Kid-** back off orphan

 

 **Daddyissues** \- ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮├┬┴┬┴

 

 

 **Rat Kid-** where are you even getting these

 

 **Reena** \- Anadil

 

 **druggedweasel** \- u r so dead nick.

 

 **Queen** \- Wow Hort for once you had a good idea

 

 **druggedweasel** \- what did i do?

 

 **Queen** has changed Nicholas’s name to deadboi

 

 **Deadboi** \- shit were we not supposed to tell?

 

 **druggedweasel** \- yes

 

 **Beatrix** \- stop spamming me im in umas class

 

 **Druggedweasel** \- shut upp bee im in manleys. Hes way scarier

 

_**Queen** has changed Beatrixs name to Bee_

 

 **Bee** \- I’m the queen bee

 

 **Queen** \- theres already a queen

 

 **Pretty Peasant** \- Theres only one. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KILL KILL KILL

 

 **Queen** \- Aggy this is why I love you

 

 **Chaddick** \- username?

 

_**Queen** has changed Chaddick’s name to dick_

 

_dick has left chat_

_Reena has invited dick to “Queen and two peasants”_

 

 **Queen** has changed chat title “Queen and two peasants” to “heathens galore”

 

 **bitchwitch** \- huh. Accurate

 

 **deadboi** \- me @ y’all [sigh](https://media.giphy.com/media/3kIcyN7fUtlUA/giphy.gif)

 

 **dick** \- y’all?

 

 **daddyissues** -y’all

 

 **Pretty Peasant-** y’all

 

 **druggedweasel** \- y’all

 

 **bitchwitch** \- mighty sorry siree, i aint known we gunna be cowbois cuz we that sad

 

 **Queen** \- yeehaw...we aint plan this on the gwoup shat

 

 **deadboi** \- hate u all

 

 **Reena** \- don’t ya mean

 

 **Reena** \- y’all

 

 **drugged weasel-** tru.mp4

 

Bee- why is trump here

 

 **druggedweasel** \- shit, u rite

 

 **iminlovew/thecoco-** things heating up on the gc

 

 **Rat Kid-** half sure nick is baked

 

 **bitchwitch-** we shud invite ravan to the server

 

 **Druggedweasel** \- ya u shud

 

 **Bee** \- is should so hard to spell

 

_**bitchwitch** has invited Ravan to “heathens galore”_

_ Ravan has left “heathens galore” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My son has arrived but burnt the house down and left


	3. the one my son joins but he is forced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> consent is important kiddos

  
_**bitchwitch** has invited **Ravan** to “heathens galore”_

_**Ravan** has left “heathens galore”_

_**druggedweasel** has invited **Ravan** to “heathens galore”_

_**Ravan** has left “heathens galore”_

_**bitchwitch** has invited **Ravan** to “heathens galore”_

_**Ravan** has left “heathens galore”_

_**Rat Kid** has invited **Ravan** to “heathens galore”_

_**Ravan** has left “heathens galore”_

_**bitchwitch** has invited Ravan to “heathens galore”_

**bitchwitch** \- asshole if u leave again...

_**Queen** has made **Ravan** admin of ‘heathens galore’_

**Queen** \- not a word teddy

 **daddyissues** \- oh HE gets admin

 **Queen** \- Divorce. I'm taking the kids

 **bitchwitch** \- ravan we kno your secret spill the guts

 **Ravan** \- Which one?

 **iminlovew/thecoco-** ok im lowkey scared rn “which one”

 **druggedweasel** \- same dot or ‘spill the guts’ plus ‘which one’ there are a bunch of ways that could be psycho

 **dick** \- y’all loud af

 **Ravan** has changed **Ravan’s** name to trapped

 **daddyissues** \- o k lamest name ever

 **trapped** \- Ok daddyissues.

  
 **Reena** \- oh ravan can you do me?

 **trapped** \- no

 **bitchwitch** \- honey he's gay

 **Reena** \- newsflash so am I. I want a new username

 **Bee** \- Should’ve worded that better

_**Trapped** has changed **Reena’s** name to **snake charmer**_

snake charmer- ooh nice

 **deadboi** \- Reena you can charm snakes?

 **snake charme** r- Yeah I can actually. Since I was seven. My mom was so set on me knowing how.

 **daddyissues** \- thats impressive

 **dick** \- i knew how to sword fight since i was nine

 **Pretty Peasant-** no one says sword fight anymore dick

 **Queen** \- Yeah, its called fencing now. Get with the times dick

 **dick** \- sophie I bet by the time you were nine the only thing you could do was polish your nails

 **Queen** \- Shows how much you know, that's since I was five.

 **Bee** \- ayyy [dick.mp4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR3gtvL2cUw)

 **druggedweasel** \- im scared to click the link

 **Bee** \- understandable

 **iminlovew/thecoco-** i love this song!

 **bitchwitch** \- done asking questions for you dotty

 **Rat Kid-** same

 **bitchwitch** \- wanna go eat something after hell lets out  
 **Rat Kid** \- sure I could go for a bite

_**Private Messaging- bitchwitch and druggedweasel** _

**druggedweasel** \- friend zoned

 **bitchwitch** \- i dont see u making a move

 **druggedweasel** \- shes happy with agatha and the asshole

 **bitchwitch** \- not that crush dumbass. The other one. have fun with your crisis

 **druggedweasel** \- what are you talking about

 **druggedweasel** \- hester?

_“heathens galore”_

**Bee** \- fuckin uma

 **Bee** \- ‘heres a pop test on ANIMAL GENEOLOGY CAUSE YOU’VE LEARNED SOOOO MUCH ABOUT IT”

 **Pretty Peasant-** lol good luck. I failed but I fail every class

 **Queen** \- Says Doveys and Saders favorite.

 **daddyissues** \- uma isnt that bad

 **bitchwitch** \- lesso is better

 **druggedweasel** \- hester anwser my pm

 **druggedweasel** \- and i agree, lesso is the best

 **bitchwitch** \- lol no. figure it out urself

 **deadboi** \- how do you turn notifs off

 **Queen** \- Not sure

 **dick** \- delete ur phone

 **Rat Kid** \- delete my life

 **druggedweasel** \- yeet it 

 **Pretty Peasant-** yeet my life

 **trapped** \- Same Ani

 **dick** \- emo kids tsk

 **bitchwitch** \- prep kids tsk

 **daddyissues** -omg lol nick just threw his phone across the field

 **Queen** \- Theres two types of people

 **dick** \- now he’s watching over my shoulder

 **dick** -he says hi

 **Pretty Peasant** \- are you guys just in the field messing around

 **daddyissues** \- technically

 **daddyissues** \- but school gets out in like 3 minutes

 **snake charmer-** sheeks is so done she’s just letting us get on our phones.

 **druggedweasel** \- lucky, manley is strict af

 **druggedweasel** \- my phone is under the desk

 **Queen** \- Finally.

 **Bee** \- Its friday friday

 **snake charmer** \- gotta get down on friday

 **trapped** \- shut up pLEasE

 **Queen** \- everybodies lookin forward to the weekend weekend

 **Pretty** **peasant** \- we’re done

 **Queen** \- Fuck Rebecca Black

 **deadboi-** WHICH SEAT SHOULD I TAKE

 **dick** \- wow nick didn’t know you liked trash music

 **dick** \- also when did you get your phone?

 **deadboi** -lol

 **trapped** \- he’s high

 **Rat** **Kid** \- screenshotted. Thats Ravan confessing.

 **bitchwitch** \- are u just stalking chat rav

 **daddyissues** \- 10 says he doesn’t respond

 **trapped** \- ok

 **daddyissues-** THATS NOT FAIR

 **druggedweasel-** who gets the ten

 **trapped-** Me.

 **daddyissues-** u only responded for the money

 **trapped-** As if you’ll notice 10 dollars missing rich boy.

 **druggedweasel-** he never notices when anything is missing

 **druggedweasel** -like his dad

 **trapped-** Nice one

 **daddyissues-** gettin used to it


	4. the filler chapter BUT ITS NOT TERRIBLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what the update schedule is going to be or whats going on in the story

**Bee** \- whatcha guys doing this week?

 **Bitchwitch** \- dying

 **iminlovew/thecoco-** working

 **Rat Kid-** ^^^^^

 **druggedweasel** \- my name

 **dick** \- someone hot hopefully

 **Pretty Peasant-** nothing much

 **Queen** \- seeing my babes

 **trapped** \- Spending my 10 on useless shit I'll never use but will insist on buying anyway 

 **snake charmer-** absolutely nothing

 **Bee** \- You guys wanna come to my place? I want to do something and my parents are out of town. Be there or be square

 **Bitchwitch** \- a chance to ruin your house? Yes please. Dot, Ani, we have to go

 **iminlovew/thecoco** \- I’m only going if you guys go

 **dick** \- sounds fun bee tell me when and ill be there with ted and nick

 **daddyissues** \- and ill bring aggy and sophie  
  
**druggedweasel** \- only going if theres food.

 **Bee** \- so everyones coming

 **Pretty Peasant-** I’d really rather not

 **Bee** \- Its only us, no one else. Maybe Kiko and Tristan

 **Pretty Peasant-** I guess.

 **iminlovew/thecoco-** i hate third wheeling, as cute as they are

 **Pretty Peasant-** Hester and Anadil?

 **druggedweasel** \- they are cute

 **trapped** \- don’t let them hear you say that

 **daddyissues** \- who likes third wheeling, honestly

 **dick** \- whatever ‘teddy’. I have to fourth wheel all the time for you and your people

 **Queen** \- sorry DICK only I get to call Teddy that.

 **dick** \- i think im starting to understand dick isn’t short for chaddick

 **trapped** \- No way! I had no idea! This is such a surprise!

 **Pretty Peasant** \- heh.

 **dick** \- ravan do you still hate me for beating you at the talent show in 8th grade?

 **trapped** \- no

 **trapped** \- even though my band was obviously way better

 **trapped** \- then your archery routine

 **druggedweasel** \- your band was actually pretty good

 **druggedweasel** \- but then chaddick almost shot my still- shaping dick off so of course i was biased

dick- i was aiming for your leg

 **druggedweasel** \- would have been nice to know

 **daddyissues** \- lol is it ‘still-shaping’ hort

 **trapped** \- Why are you asking about Horts dick Tedros

 **trapped** \- Thats gay

 **druggedweasel** \- heres an idea, lets stop talking about this

 **deadboi** \- y’all sad

 **snake charmer-** im so happy im lesbian

 **dick** \- if you had to date one of us who you date

 **deadboi** \- Question marks?

 **Bee** \- wtf _dick_ what kind of question is that

 **snake** **charmer** \- nick but he’s dead so probably ravan

 **Bee** \- Ravan is probably the normalized person on this chat, same

 **deadboi** \- ummm? I am offended

 **trapped** \- Normalized? Thats not even a word

 **Bee** \- See what I mean

 **dick** \- ...what?

 **dick** \- *is hurt*

 **bitchwitch** \- opened this chat to dick being hurt, okay then

 **trapped** \- Apparently, Reena would date me if she wasn’t lesbian and Nick wasn’t dead.

 **bitchwitch** \- i’d date the hell out of you if i wasn’t gay too

 **Trapped** \- Please stop. I can't live without the hell in me. Bad flashbacks are coming back

 **druggedweasel-** flashbacks?

 **druggedweasel** \- wait, you two dated?

 **bitchwitch** \- lol

 **bitchwitch** has left “heathens galore”

 **trapped** \- It was a dark time.

 **trapped** has invited bitchwitch to “heathens galore”

 **druggedweasel** \- i didn’t know this????

 **Trapped** \- Well it didn’t last very long so we didn’t tell anyone. Its not a big deal.

**Private Messaging- druggedweasel and bitchwitch**

**druggedweasel** \- u and rav dated???

 **bitchwitch** \- for one week! jeez hort why do u care so much?

 **druggedweasel** \- i dont, its just surprising. i cant imagine you two with anyone at all

 **bitchwitch** \- what do you like ravan or something?

 **druggedweasel** \- no! im not gay.

 **bitchwitch** \- hahahah

 **bitchwitch** \- k

 

_‘heathens galore’_

**iminlovew/thecoco-** can someone please change my name, im not on drugs

_**Trapped** has changed **iminlovew/thecoco’s** name to Coco_

**Coco** \- thats terrible

 **Queen** \- I knew I didn’t make a mistake making Ravan admin

_**Trapped** has changed **Queens** name to **Mommyissues**_

**daddyissues** \- matching names!

_**Trapped** has changed **Pretty Peasants** name to **Issues**_

**Mommyissues** \- I made a mistake.

 **Issues** \- no shit

 **coco** \- you guys are so cute with your matching usernames!

 **Issues** \- not needed dot but thanks

 **daddyisssues** \- we know, we’re adorable

 **Issues** \- for once in your life tedros shut up

 **daddyissues** \- I can’t shut up this isn’t a verbal conversation

 **Issues** \- prove it

 **daddyissues** \- someones on their fvbnjhgfthrgtdh789099’’’

 **deadboi** \- someone else can be the deadboi now

 **dick** \- did teddy just key smash or get tackled

 **Mommyissues** \- dick

 **Bee** \- cant stop laughing you guys are the w o r s e

 **snake** **charmer** \- heaven ain’t close in a place like this no heaven ain’t close in a place like this

 **deadboi** \- ain’t

 **Rat** **Kid** \- That song is actually really fitting for our chat

 **deadboi** \- i was killed

 **Coco** \- lol thats fun

 **druggedweasel** \- its not confidential, ive got potential, rushing around and around

 **Bee** \- Hort why are you so emo

 **druggedweasel** \- im not emo i just like a lot of music. Why are you so preppy

 **Bee** \- money. At least i admit to it

 **druggedweasel** \- I’M NOT EMO

 **druggedweasl** \- no one will ever understand my pain. 

 **druggedweasel** \- dont touch me please i cannot stand the way you TEASEEEEEEEEE

 **Issues** \- go listen to Simple plan and cry about it then

 **Bee** \- He already is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me when the dead nick references are becoming too much, I'm having way too much fun with them


	5. imm so sorrryyyyyyyyyy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im back, don't hurt me, i was tired

  
**dick** \- you two r together?

 **Bee** \- hes just in my car

 **Bee** \- laying there listening to mcr smoking

 **Bee** \- we were supposed to go out to eat but he decided to get high and he gets scared when i start the car

 **Rat Kid-** lmao send a video of you moving the car

 **bitchwitch** \- so what are u two together or smth

 **Bee** \- Ew no! We’re fucking friends

 **snake charmer** \- aw bee you and hort are together? 

 

 **dick** \- oof i ship that

 **deadboi** \- that sounds pervy dick

 **dick** \- but not in the straight guy gross way

 **daddyissues** \- just in the dick gross way

 **trapped** \- This chat is so cringey

 **Issues** \- agreed

 **Bee** \- my house tomorrow night guys

 **Mommyissues** \- ok

_“heathens galore”_

**deadboi** \- i just a guy hanging upside down from a window eating pretzels and trying to drink from a vodka bottle, and i was thinking this was something everyone on this chat would do

 **dick** \- lol this chat is dead

 **deadboi** \- what cause no one's been on it for more than 2 hours

 **dick** \- u would know all about dead wouldnt you nick

 **dick** \- or _deadboi_

 **deadboi** \- *triggered*

 **Mommyisuues** \- I WOULD NEVER DO THAT

 **Issues** \- you threw yourself out my window once when you got an email about a sale at sephora

 **Bee** \- classy.

 **Mommyissues** \- fghjuytrdfgofghjhf

 **Daddyissues** \- agatha you broke sophie

 **Issues** \- Say something I’m giving up on

 **Coco** \- YOU

 **bitchwitch** \- soulja boy crack dat

 **Snake charmer-** what is even happening

 **druggedweasel** \- why is dog fur everywhere

 **deadboi** \- why does no one use question marks?

 **Issues** \- These are the questions.

 **Bee** \- it just is. Shushhhhh go to sleep

 **druggedweasel** \- what if i choke on it

 **Rat Kid-** Thats what she said

 **Issues** \- did

 **Issues** \- did you just quote the office?

 **daddyissues** \- nerdddd

 **Issues** \- Thats rude

 **daddyissues** \- not denying it

 **Rat** **Kid** \- for gods sake stop kinkshaming agatha

 **daddyissues** \- kinkshaming iS MY KINK

 **deadboi** \- my kink is someone loving and caring for me

 **dick** \- thats too much. Settle like bondage like the rest of us

 **deadboi** \- bondage is everyones kink? 

 **bitchwitch** \- I don’t have a bondage kink

 **Issues** \- my mom thinks hot topic smells like death and bondage

 **druggedweasel** \- what did u say back?

 **Issues** \- Victorias secret smells very similar but you still go there

 **Bee** \- aggy i want to meet your mom

 **Issues** \- I’m grounded now

 **Issues** \- from chips

 **Issues** \- IT HURTS

 **Mommyissues** \- Aww babe

 **Mommysissues** \- want me to bring some goldfish over?

 **daddyisssues** \- i can bring a goldfish factory

 **Issues** \- I love you guys

 **Snake** **charmer** \- GEt ouT oF hErE with yOur hAppIneSs and lOvE

 **Bee** \- u dont belong

 **dick** \- wtf guys PDa

 **bitchwitch** \- i like how everyone else is single on this chat

 **druggedweasel** \- speak for yourself

 **Rat** **Kid** \- Bullshitttttttttt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger, whoops


	6. SIKEEEEEEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel sorry for my amazing readers. I really don't make it easy for you guys.

**druggedweasel** \- i’ve been dating myself for 3 years now

 **Dick** -the sex must be great

 **deadboi** \- you dont say that about even a _normal_ relationship unless its really weird. 

 **dick** \- whaaaaa just askin

 **druggedweasel** \- this is such a weird gc

 **Bee** \- *wii theme plays*

 **trapped** \- I finish one lousy episode, glance at my phone, and I have 50 something notifications. Sophie let me leave. 

 **dick** \- get over it

 **trapped** \- you get over it

 **dick** \- real mature

 **deadboi** \- what are you watching?

 **trapped** \- the worst show ever

 **trapped** \- fairy tail if you really wanted to know

 **Daddyissues** \- wow Rav didn’t know you were a weeb

 **trapped** \- wow tedros, didn’t know you were an orphan

 **trapped** \- and horts making me

 **druggedweasel** \- guilty :D

 **Bee** \- thats terrifying hort

 **druggedweasel** \- :D

 **Bee** \- for the love of god stop

 **Druggedweasel** \- :DDDDD

 **Bee** \- hort you cotton headed ninny muggins

 **Issues** \- NaLu or Gratsu?

 **trapped** \- sophie let me leave

 **Mommyissues** \- What do you ship Ravan? Answer the woman. Idk what either of those are tho...

 **trapped** \- ...GaLe

 **Issues** \- acceptable.

 **Rat Kid** \- wow Ravans a weeb for Hort?

 **trapped** \- you watch one (1) anime and this happens.

 **druggedweasel** \- aww ravan you’re a weeb for me? Thats adorable

 **bitchwitch** \- i step away to get some raisins and Ravan is a weeb for Hort. what the fuck.

 **trapped** \- please. Please. Shut up.

 **snake** **charmer** \- omg ravan now we can watch free! together.

 **trapped** \- I am strangely down for that.

 **dick** \- i am confused. So ravans not a weeb,

 **trapped** \- correct.

 **dick** \- but he's a weeb for Hort?

 **trapped** \- just drop it.

 **druggedweasel** \- we stan a tsundere

 **snake** **charmer** \- do you even know what that means

**Private Messaging- bitchwitch and Rat Kid**

**bitchwitch** \- he didn’t deny it…

 **Rat** **Kid** \- black mail?

 **bitchwitch** \- blackmail 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> were you expecting something


	7. i typed this out in lab and my teacher thinks im hilarious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you all flatter this old woman with your comments, bless you all

_“heathens galore”_

**deadboi** \- i need advice™

 **Bee** \- Hit me

 **Mommyissues** \- I gotchu

 **Snake** **charmer** \- something I’m god at

 **snake** **charmer** \- good*

 **snake** charmer- oh no

 **Bee** \- damn we have a god in our presence

 **snake** **charmer** \- i knew you would do this

 **Bee** \- ily

 **snake** **charmer** \- <3 ilyt

 **dick** \- what is going on here kids?

 **deadboi** \- i was going to ask for advice but Reena and Bea started flirting

 **daddyissues** \- bea=beyonce

 **daddyissues** \- reena= rihanna

 **daddyissues** \- sophie= selena 

 **daddyissues** \- chaddick- fergie

 **daddyissues** \- the divas

 **dick** \- ayyyyyy listen up y’all cause this is it the beat that I'm bangin' is de-li-cious

 **dick** \- Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco

 **deadboi** \- dick is fergie?

 **deadboi** \- i always imagined him as gwen stefani

 **dick** \- damn I could pull off a gwen

 **dick** \- Few times I've been around that track

 **dick** \- So it's not just gonna happen like that

 **dick** \- 'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

 **dick** \- I ain't no hollaback girl

 **dick** \- i cant pull that lipstick off tho

 **Trapped** \- why do you do this

 **dick** \- I listen to a _charming_ mix of 90s and 2000s, and a lot of gwen stefani (or No Doubt)

 **snake** **charmer** \- enough with this gay shit nick tell us whats up

 **deadboi** \- more gay shit

 **snake** **charmer** \- gay shit welcome

 **Issues** \- No way in hell I’m shitting here

 **deadboi** \- so theres a guy

 **Bee** \- There always is

 **deadboi** \- and he’s an ASSHOLE

 **snake** **charmer** \- not what I was expecting but I can help with that as well

 **deadboi** \- but hes cute

 **deadboi** \- and ive known him a long time, and i was thinking about making a move 

**Private Messaging- Snake Charmer and Bee**

snake charmer- its chaddick

Bee- obviously

Snake charmer- aw thats cute

Bee- it is.

snake charmer- good thing dick has the hots for him too

Bee- wut?

snake charmer- I mean, im pretty sure

Bee- aww, we should try to get them together!

_“heathens galore”_

**bitchwitch** \- this sounds very VERY hallmark

 **deadboi** -not hallmark!!

 **daddyissues** \- aw nick!

 **dick** \- wait so you like guys?

 **daddyissues** \- aw dick!

 **deadboi** \- yes and no

 **deadboi** \- i like people

 **dick** \- so ur pan?

 **deadboi** \- yeah, i guess

 **dick** \- thats cool

 **Daddyissues** \- i support

 **Mommysissues** \- Aw the D boys are bonding

 **druggedweasel** \- okay then, ill just go 

 **Mommyissues** \- Ravan you should change your username to a D name so every guy matches

 **trapped** \- I’m not a guy

 **bitchwitch** \- !!!

 **Rat** **Kid** \- !!!

 **Coco** \- Ravans not a guy??? This day is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S

 **trapped** \- I sexually identify as an attack helicopter

 **bitchwitch** \- fuck you man i was excited

 **trapped** \- did you ignore what I just said

 **trapped** \- attack helicopters dont fuck people unless its by military force

 **Bee** \- EVERYONE SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS BEFORE I SHUT THEM FOR YOU

 **Bee** \- okay so nick how long have you liked this guy

 **deadboi** \- jeez bea this isnt even a verbal conversation how can they shut their mouths

 **Bee** \- HOW LonG

 **deadboi** \- reena

 **deadboi** \- get your crazy girlfriend off of my case

 **snake** **charmer** \- shes not my gf

 **deadboi** \- 3 years or something

 **Mommyissues** \- you pining child. 

 **Issues** \- Guys if we were Star Wars characters who would we be?

 **Mommyissues** \- Nice transition Aggy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cheesy, i know.


	8. kylux or hylux guys help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why am I actually confused about this

**Mommyissues** \- Leia

 **Bee** \- _bitch_ i wanted Leia

 **Mommyissues** \- You snooze you lose

 **bitchwitch** \- Darth Maul

 **Rat** **Kid** -....but you know i love red and black face make up

 **Bitchwitch** \- Nevermind I like dooku more

 **daddyissues** \- the memey siths

 **daddyissues** \- i honestly feel i could be luke

 **bitchwitch** \- whiny, blonde, daddy issues, spolied,

 **bitchwitch** \- I see the potential

 **Rat** **Kid** \- somebody once told me the world was gunna roll me

 **Coco** \- I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shedddd

 **druggedweasel** \- she was lookin kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead

 **Issues** \- I see myself as Han

 **Daddyissues** \- Han, Luke and Leia, CUTE

 **Mommyissues** \- Twincest is wincest

 **Issues** \- actually maybe Anakin

 **Coco** \- she went to the dark side

 **daddyissues** \- unnecessary dot.

 **druggedweasel** \- i like kylo ren cause no one understands him and me

 **Bee** \- I thought Rav would be kylo cause of the long lovely locks, or the LLLs™

 **trapped** \- I’m obviously Hux.

 **Coco** \- hylux...interesting.

 **Bee-** honey its kylux

 **Coco-** what?

 **trapped** \- wtf is a hylux? and a kylux

 **Issues** \- He's a weeb for Fairy Tail but doesn’t know what Kylux is

 **druggedweasel** \- I'll explain and ill use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, u warthog faced buffoon.

 **trapped** \- did

 **trapped** \- oh my god I can’t believe this is happening

 **trapped** \- Did you just insult me and quote the Princess Bride, only the greatest movie ever to ever grace the pitiful human existence, at the same time?

 **druggedweasel** \- I might have, but don’t hurt me, i was just kidding. I was watching it and omg please dont kill me

 **trapped** \- do I kill you or kiss you

 **Coco** \- Kylux right there folks

**Private Messaging- druggedweasel and Bee**

**Bee** \- brUHHHHH

 **druggedweasel** \- what just happened 

 **Bee** \- BRUHHHHH

 **druggedweasel** \- he was probably kidding. I mean, its ravan, he could have anyone he wanted. Not me

 **Bee** \- True, but do you like him?

 **druggedweasel** \- yes

 **Bee** \- can’t pull that friend shit with me hort do yOu lIkE hiM?

 **druggedweasel** \- i doNt kNoW? yeS? nO? I dont know if im even gay? I just know i dont know

 **Bee** \- guys are so stuPID

 **Bee** \- FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT HORT CAUSE RAVS NOT WAITING FOREVER FOR YOUR DUMBASS

‘ _heathens_ _galore_ ”

 **Bee** \- maybe like padme or something

 **dick** \- yoda

 **deadboi** \- dick you know the question right?

 **dick** \- yoda or quit man

 **deadboi** \- quit what?

 **snake** **charmer** \- he was quoting parks and rec

 **dick** \- quit life

 **deadboi** \- been there done that

 **snake** **charmer** \- dick ur jar jar

 **dick** \- mesa disa greesa

 **dick** \- shit

 **dick** \- NO I’M NOT

 **trapped** \- yes you are

 **dick** \- fuck you

 **Trapped** \- No thanks

 **Mommyissues** \- Does anyone on this chat actually like everyone on this chat? Like every single person.

 **Daddyissues-** #butnotinthesluttyway

 **Coco** \- I like everyone on this chat!

 **deadboi** \- me too

 **bitchwitch** \- 2 out of 20 something people, not bad

 **Rat** **Kid** \- I doubt theres 20 of us

 **bitchwitch** \- im pretty sure i’m right

 **snake** **charmer** \- whats fun about commitment ? we have our life to liveeeee

 **dick** \- yeah we’re young dumb and broke

 **druggedweasel** \- is this a song or somehting

 **trapped** \- Hort you put the dumb in Young Dumb and Broke

 **druggedweasel** \- wow Ravan I thought we had something special

 **Rat** **Kid** \- can everyone say their name so I can count all these shitheads  
  
**bitchwitch** \- hester

 **deadboi** \- nick

 **dick** \- Chaddick

 **Issues** \- agatha

 **Coco** \- dot

 **Trapped** \- Ravan

 **Snake** **charmer** \- Reena

 **Bee** \- Beatrix

 **druggedweasel** \- your mom

 **Rat** **Kid** \- HORT WHY

 **Mommyissues** \- Sophie

 **dick** \- I thought druggedweasel was hort… whos mom is it?

 **bitchwitch** \- yeah and Rat kId is HORT WHY?

 **druggedweasel** has left heathens galore

 **Issues** \- we’ll never know ig 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it sad these are based off a gc with me and my family? Also, Horavan finally. I like slow burns, obviously.


	9. weezers new album is fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title

**Bee has invited druggedweasel to heathens galore**

**druggedweasel** \- i knew it. You missed me

**Trapped has kicked druggedweasel from “heathens galore”**

**bitchwitch** \- betryal

**Bee has invited druggedweasel to heathens galore**

**druggedweasel** \- why do you hurt me

 **trapped** -Don't tempt me to do it again

 **druggedweasel** \- sir yes sir

 **Rat** **Kid** \- damn Horts whipped for his man

 **daddyissues** \- oh my god its canon?!?!?! WHO OWES ME 10 YOU CHEAP FUCKERS 

 **druggedweasel** \- I AM NOT WHIPPED

 **trapped** \- It is not canon, whatever that means.

 **Coco** \- this is so sad

 **Coco** \- Alexa play despacito

 **snake** **charmer** \- A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a deniaaallllllllllllll

 **Coco** \- I sAiD aLeXa PlAy dEsPaCiTo

**_‘Heathens galore”_ **

**Issues** \- GUYS

 **Issues** \- I WAS EATING AND LISTENING TO MUSIC

 **Issues** \- AND THIS SONG CAME ON’

 **Issues** \- AND ITS US

 **Daddyissues** \- Agatha its 3am

 **Issues** \- https://open.spotify.com/track/4KacUpvbA3Mfo05gttTjhN

 **druggedweasel** \- Well I know I'm not the one you thought you knew back in high school

 **Issues** \- Never going, never showing up when we had to

  
 **druggedweasel** \- attention that we crave don't tell us to behave,

 **Issues** \- I'm sick of always hearing act your age

 **druggedweasel** \- I DONT WANNA WASTE MY TIME

 **Issues** \- BECOME ANOTHER CASUALTY IN SOCIETY

 **druggedweasel** \- i”LL NEVER FALL IN LINE

 **Issues** \- BECOME ANOTHER VICTIM OF YOUR CONFORMITY

 **bitchwitch** \- AND BACK DOWN

 **Issues** \- ayyyyyy hesty

 **druggedweasel** \- That song is us! Omg #squad goals #squad #bffs

 **bitchwitch** \- #stopthisbs2k19

 **Bee** \- I need my beauty rest guys

 **Snake** **charmer** \- sure bea. Sure you do.

 **Rat** **Kid** \- WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL OF YOU HEATHENS UP?

 **bitchwitch** \- Why are you up?

 **Rat** **Kid** \- dumbass notifs

 **daddyissues** \- agatha i did not get you a phone so you could spam us with wannabe Blink-182

 **Issues** \- exCUSE

 **Issues** \- Sum 41 is an ART

 **daddyissues** \- they lit-ar-lly have an album called Does This Look Infected

 **druggedweasel** -ah, my favorite

 **daddyissues** \- Of course it is

 **Rat** **kid** \- I personally prefer Sublimes Santeria over any music. Ever. Always.

 **Issues** \- I DON’T PRACTICE SANTERIA

 **daddyissues** \- if we’re going to talk about music at THREE AM

 **daddyissues** \- lets talk about good music

 **druggedweasel** \- oh no

 **daddyissues** \- Justin Timberlake

 **Issues** \- stop

 **daddyissues** \- The Black Eyed Peas

 **Issues** \- AHHH

**‘heathens galore”**

**deadboi** \- just watched like seven tom cruise movies

 **dick** \- favorite?

 **deadboi** \- cocktail

 **dick** \- Top Gun is the best Tom Cruise movie. c’mon man

 **deadboi** \- nope. the best is risky business

 **dick** \- but its not your favorite.

 **deadboi** \- cocktail has kokomo in it

 **dick** \- true

 **MommyIssues** \- Mistaken. The best Tom cruise movie is The Outsiders

 **Issues** \- Mission Impossible guys

 **dick** \- only if its fallout.

 **druggedweasel** \- fallout the video game?

 **Coco** \- Top Gun for me guys.

 **druggedweasel** \- im so confused rn

 **Trapped** \- Guys. Check out this link. I almost cried. [These Man Almost Dy But He Living Know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

 **Coco** \- OHHHHHHH YES

 **bitchwitch** \- FUCK

 **snake** **charmer** \- i don’t get it. That's a terrible music video

 **druggedweasel** \- you sly asshole

 **Rat**   **k** **id** \- what year is it again Rav?

 **Daddyissues** has left ‘heathens galore’

 **Issues** \- Never gonna give you upp, never going let you downnn

 **Bee** \- Must be a dad joke

 **MommyIssues** \- It wasn’t cool then, its not cool now

 **druggedweasel** \- its all [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

 **Bee** \- AGAIn?

 **dick** \- I hate that rick assedly

 **deadboi** \- no cussing dick

 **dick** \- i mean ashley

 **dick** \- attdely

 **Bee** \- Assedly

 **dick** \- nailed it

 **Trapped** \- ?

 **Coco** \- I am confusion

 **Rat** **Kid** \- No you’re Dot

 **daddyissues** has joined ‘heathens galore’

 **daddyissues** \- Hi Confusion I’m dad

 **Coco** \- you’re noT mY dAd

 **Coco** \- You can’t tell me what to do

 **Daddyissues** \- you’re right, i’m not your dad. If I had a kid I would shower it with love and affection

 **Issues** \- guys, i fucked up big big big 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will i ever stop being so late in posting chapters?   
> I don't think so guys. I'm pretty sure the superbowl and shaggy memes are over, but here I am, late as fuck, sorry.

**Mommyissues** \- what did you do love. 

**Issues** \- Something stupid, as usual, I am a mess

**Issues** \- Well there was bread so I made some toast and I only made it because i thought i had jelly but tHeReS nO jeLlY so now I have 21 pieces of toast and I CANT EAT IT WITHOUT JELLY 

**Issues** \- mmmWhatcha sayyy 

**snake** **charmer** \- Mmh that you only meant well?

**Issues** \- Well of course you did

**Daddyissues** \- babe why would you make 21 pieces of toast 

**Issues** \- Saturday mornings  im bored and hungry

**druggedweasel** \- i got grounded.

**Bee** \- What did you do? 

**druggedweasel** \- made my dad mad

**Bee** \- You fucking idiot. 

**druggedweasel** \- yeah ummm he was yelling at me about some cars 

**druggedweasel** \- and he won’t stop and I had to go pee and hes talking aout gear shifts so I have to sit there and act impressed, 

**druggedweasel** \- even though last week on TV i saw a stripper quit on stage, so its really hard to amaze me. 

**druggedweasel** \- like what do you think I’ll hear that i havent seen before? Theres a such thing as the internet

**Rat** **Kid** \- get to the point 

**Druggedweasel** \- so i couldnt take it anymore so I ummm 

**druggedweasel** \- i poured some water on him

**druggedweasel** \- I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY 

**druggedweasel** \- but his expression was HILARIOUS 

**druggedweasel** \- it was like he didn’t have the social maturity to tell me to fuck off cause he just stared and me and im crying and laughing.

**Trapped** \- I think you deserve to be grounded now actually. 

**druggedweasel** \- so then he started lecturing me like im five years old, which technically i am, “we dont do that, why would you do that, god you disgrace to my noble blood  how fucking old are you, and he took my tv away, 

**druggedweasel** \-  but guys 

**druggedweasel** \- i cracked the code 

**druggedweasel** \- how to get people to stop talking about stuff you dont care about.

**bitchwitch** \- try to drown them? genius 

**Rat** **Kid** \- hort u kno your dads sensitive around water why would you do that

**Coco** \- deadass crying rn 

**Trapped** \- Don’t drown

**bitchwitch** - _ dont drown  _

**_Mommyissues has changed druggedweasels name to drowny mcdrownson_ **

**snake** **charmer** \- hort y r u spamming me im trying to sleep in 

**drowny** **mcdrownson** \- its 12 

**snake** **chamer** \- yo hort y ru spamming me im trying to sleep in

**snake** **charmer** \- Im having nightmares about the halftime show 

**Trapped** \- dear god not this topic again. It was months ago, get over it!

**Daddyissues** \- I feel sorry fot you. I really do. 

**Dick** \- fuck the fucking NFL im fucking switching to goddamn basketball, fuck everything

**bitchwitch** \- he gets so emo over sports. 

**bitchwitch** \- the only good thing that came out of the halftime show was the memes, and hearing dick scream from three blocks away

**Bee** \- ngl even i was disapointed 

**_Trapped has changed drowny mcdrownsons name to druggedweasel_ **

**druggedweasel** \- everybody hurtssss

**deadboi** \- This again guys 

**druggedweasel** \- [image sent] 

**druggedweasel** \- [image sent] 

**druggedweasel** \- [image sent] 

**Bee** \- Stop with the shaggy memes

**druggedweasel** \- [image sent] 

**druggedweasel** \- [image sent]

**druggedweasel** \- no

**druggedweasel** \- [image sent] 

**druggedweasel** \- [image sent] 

**_Bee has removed druggedweasel from ‘heathens galore’_ **

**Bee** \- I dare someone to add him back. 

**Bee** \- no. Dot I know what you’re thinking. 

_**Coco has invited druggedweasel to ‘heathens galore’** _

**Coco** \- IM SORRY HE TEXTED ME AND OFFERED ME 2 BUCKS AND I COULDN’t RESIST 

**Bee** \- Two bucks?

**druggedweasel** \- *drumming*

**druggedweasel** \- ITS GUNNA TAKE A LOT TO TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOUUU 

**Mommyissues** \- Hort this is why 

**druggedweasel** \- why what 

**Bee** \- What?

**druggedweasel** \- why?

**snake** **charmer** \- what?? 

**deadboi** \- who?

**Rat** **Kid** \- omg shit up pleaseee i cant even typw rite anymor im so tiredd of evrythang

**Snake** **charmer** \- me @ myself when I breathe

**Bee** \- me @ myself all the time

**Mommyissues** \- me @ dad when he doesn’t pay the netflix bill so I dont know what happens on American Horror story 

**Issues** \- he dies

**Mommyissues** \- FUCK he was cute though?!

**Issues** \- its always the pretty ones

**daddyissues** \- was it my clown boi 

**Issues** \- that was IT tedros 

**daddyissues** \- i love my clown boi 

**daddyissues** \- he reminds me of myself sometimes 

**Druggedweasel** has taken a screenshot of ‘heathens galore”

**druggedweasel** \- proof for when he denies later he sees himself in a shape shifting demon clown that eats and tortues children with his appearance and was killed by a bunch of adolescent 12 year olds and is finally defeated by a goddamn turtle 

_**bitchwitch has taken a screenshot of ‘heathens galore”** _

_**Rat Kid has taken a screenshot of ‘heathens galore”** _

_**dick has taken a screenshot of ‘heathens galore”** _

_**deadboi has taken a screenshot of ‘heathens galore”** _

**bitchwitch** \- confirmed. I had my suspicions 

**Daddyissues** \- really guys?

_**Issues has taken a screenshot of ‘heathens galore”** _

**Daddyissues** \- Aggy? 

**Issues** \- sorry babe

 **Issues** \- its just business

**Mommyissues** \- dont worry babe, I won’t take a screenshot. You would make a very cute demon spider clown

**Private Messaging- MommyIssues and Issues**

**mommyIssues** \- agyyyyy please I need it for when im depressed and need to laugh a lot. 


	11. spoilers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers if you haven't seen/read IT, I think I should add a lot more spoilers cause in this fanfic, everyone has seen every movie ever apparently.

**Issues** \- really?

 **Issues** \- [screenshot sent]

 **Mommyissues** \- ily 3>

 **Mommyissues** \- hol up

 **Issues** \- Take your time

 **Mommyissues** \- Ɛ>

 **Issues** \- What the fuck

_**‘Heathens galore’** _

**Trapped** \- why do you guys know so much about Pennywise

 **druggedweasel** \- I read all the books. Watched both movies. Cried a shit ton over both, what an art

 **Trapped** \- I know, you were crying into my shoulder when we watched IT at the movie theaters.

 **Trapped** \- Ruined my hoodie with your tears and drool.

 **druggedweasel** \- Im pretty sure that was my hoodie

 **Trapped** \- I’m pretty sure you’re wrong.

 **Druggedweasel** \- Well okay then.

 **Trapped** \- But how do you know he was killed by a turtle

 **Druggedweasel** \- its complicated to explain, but he advised Bill and Bill killed pennywise and thats the simplest it gets

 **Trapped** \- okay then.

 **Trapped** \- but just an ordinary turtle?

 **druggedweasel** -https://66.media.tumblr.com/80297374e1a0836b087170cfc48a4aff/tumblr_pjrth9JpFB1x7zfrbo1_400.jpg

 **druggedweasel** \- maturin the flat earth turtle

 **Rat Kid** \- You guys saw IT together?

 **Snake** **charmer** \- Tea

 **Mommyissues** \- Tea

 **druggedweasel** \- its tradition to watch horror movies in theater together.

 **Rat** **Kid** \- Wasn’t that lego building Bill dropped a turtle?

 **druggedweasel** \- foreshadowing

 **snake** **charmer** \- MAYBE IT REPRESENTED MAUTRIN FAILING CAUSe PENNYWISE BEING IN THE BASEMENT

 **Daddyissues** \- rise of the nerds am I right guys

 **druggedweasel** \- shut up …. Pennywise

 **Rat** **Kid** \- hes just mad cause we kno his secret

 **Rat** **Kid** \- I need help on the math hw, i got 1.76x

 **Druggedweasel** \- i got 1.89x

 **Daddyissues** \- math hw? Omg your teachers are brutal

 **Trapped** \- you both are wrong. Its 1.85x

 **Trapped** \- i cant believe im giving someone the math anwsers

 **Trapped** \- I’ve sunk so low

 **Trapped** \- I’m like a math hooker

 **Rat** **Kid** \- *hands u a $6* buy yourself a little something nice

 **Daddyissue** \- Thats what you get for being smart

 **Trapped** \- thanks pennywise.

**Private Messaging- Issues and MommyIssues**

**Issues** \- please change his name

 **Mommyissues** \- what about our matching nicknames?

 **Issues** \- Baby please this is so worth it we could have thriller uns please

 **Mommyissues** \- I’m not like any psycho killers!

 **Issues** -...really?

 **Mommyissues** \- yes.

**_‘Heathens galore’_ **

**dick** \- bee I cant make it to your house its too cold

 **Bee** \- pussy

 **dick** \- look its cold and Im warm in all my blankets and id rather watch netflix and eat poptarts then go outside and do anything

 **dick** -[image sent]

 **dick** \- look im all comfortable and my cats right there in my lap i cant get up

 **Daddyissues** \- you have a cat?

 **Bee** \- dick you look so comfy and cute! I wouldn’t want to go anywhere either actually

 **deadboi** \- dick and his cat look so alike

 **Snake** **charmer** \- oml dick i want to marry your cat!!!!

 **Issues** \- your cat is adorable

 **Rat** **Kid** \- dicks cat does look like him

 **dick** \- his fur matches my eyes

 **Trapped** \- I hate you a little less right now cause of how cute your cat is

 **dick** \- wow, thanks.

 **Trapped** \- no problem

 **deadboi** \- look ill pick you up so the only thing you have to do is haul ass to the car

 **dick** \- thats too hardddddddd

 **Druggedweasel** \- thats what she said

 **deadboi** \- what if i carry you

 **dick** \- no offense nick but im pretty heavy

 **Deadboi** \- okay, so?

 **dick** \- so are you sure?

 **deadboi** \- i can carry you

 **Rat** **Kid** \- wow dick is like a little princess

 **Daddyissues** \- dick has always been my princess

 **dick** \- no im not

 **Coco** \- just looked at the picture, a) dick you look really adorable when you aren’t cussing out the NFl, b) I want your cat, I have 2 dollars is that enough and c) is that a spice girls poster in the background

 **Dick** \- NO

 **Dick** \- NO ITS NOT

_Trapped has changed Dicks name to Princess dick_

**Princess** **dick** \- fuck you you fucking fuck

 **Issues** \- was that a shameless reference?

 **Princess** **dick** \- This is why I like you agatha. You understand me when im cussin people out

 **Issues** \- i like you cause you can reference shows i like

 **Rat** **Kid** \- omg it is a spice girls poster

 **Princess dick-** im in my sisters room

 **Daddyissues** \- u dont have a sister

 **Snake charmer-** hey sisters!

 **Bee** \- *sad* hey sisters

 **Mommyissues** \- Its okay Dick. I like Spice Girls too. Its a normal thing.

 **Princess dick** \- *screaming*

 **Trapped** \- wow dick you’re such a diva

 **druggedweasel** \- you could give sophie a run for her money

 **Mommissues** \- Hort, I don’t run.

 **druggedweasel** \- should i bring chips

 **Bee** \- YES. Lords almighty, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

 **druggedweasel** \- ok fritos

 **Bee** \- No, no you asshole. Not fritos.

 **druggedweasel** \- whats wrong with fritos ?

 **Bee** \- They’re gross

 **druggedweasel** \- no they aren’t.

 **Trapped** \- chili fritos are good. Regular are gross though. 

 **Druggedweasel** \- Rav, i expected more from you

 **Druggedweasel** \- guess i shouldn't have from someone that has tik tok

 **Bitchwitch** \- fuckin exposed ravan, you ain’t my friend anymore

 **Trapped** \- pity.

 **Daddyissues** \- he doesn’t show up on my tick-tok

 **Rat Kid-** you don’t have his phone#

 **Daddyissues** \- it syncs to the group app though and i have his contact on here.

 **Snake charmer-** i like how everyone's making a big deal of rav having a tik tok account, it shows the groups priorities.

 **Trapped** \- I don’t have tik-tok, i have the same phone number has someone who does and thats why I showed up on your recommended, question is why do you have tik tok Hort, and I sincerely hope you didn’t try to follow my fake account.

_Druggedweasel has left heathens galore_

**Trapped** \- I had a valid point

 **Bee** \- YOU ARE VALID

_Bee has invited druggedweasel to ‘heathens galore’_

**Druggedweasel** \- fine but im not telling anything

 **Coco** \- okay then   
  
**Coco** -Bee you want me bring hot cheetos and takis

 **Bee** \- YES YES YES YES

 **Issues** \- YES YES YES YES I’VE BEEN DEPRIVED DOT YOU ARE MY QUEEN

 **Mommyissues** -...ahem.

 **Daddyissues** \- dot do you need any money?

 **Coco** \- No dad gave me some

 **Rat Kid** \- hol up

 **Rat Kid-** Your dad...gave you money???

 **Daddyissues** \- yeah im surprised too

 **Coco** \- ya so I told him I loved him, and he paid a solid 20 to never say that, he was afraid it might trigger feelings

 **Bitchwitch** \- ur kidding

 **Coco** \- Its funny, right?

 **Rat Kid-** no, no its not.

 **Bitchwitch** \- well i love you dot, no homo

 **Rat** **Kid** \- I love you dot, you, aggs and hest are like my sisters, no homo

 **Issues** \- aw, feelings. ily dot, no homo

 **Snake** **charmer** \- im getting tingles, you all are adorable to each other

 **Princess**   **dick** \- not to ruin this beautiful moment but these are a lot of no homos I’m scared some of them aren’t actually no homo

 **Coco** \- awww, omg I love you guys so much, NO HOMO, im so happy we’re friends, aggy, hest, ani, you guys are just so awesome, and I hope we stay friends after graduration, and Im so glad to have met all you guys, cause you make me be the best i can be :) :) :) <3

 **Trapped** \- dot

 **Trapped** \- my heart actually fucking hurts from sweet you are

 **druggedweasel** \- bitch me too the fuck

 **Trapped** \- im so vulnerable right now im not even going to kill hort after he called me a bitch

 **Princess** **Dick** \- wow i think i got a cavity

 **Princess** **dick** \- not my perfect teeth

 _ **‘heathens galore’**_  
**bitchwitch** \- WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD SO BIG 


	12. ooo foreplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the reason why I post chapters that are so OLD and totally two weeks ago is because I type the chapters out, I just forget to post them! Soon its weeks later and I'll realize what I've done but by then...its too late :'(, but seriously, I will start trying harder, reminding myself

  
**Bee** \- I don’t know

 **bitchwitch** \- WHY ARE THE HOUSES SO BIG

 **bitchwitch** \- I CANT FIND MY WAY

 **bitchwitch** \- YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES IF 10 MILLION FIREFLIES

 **bitchwitch** \- doT TOOK MY PHONE

 **Rat** **Kid** \- omg

 **Rat** **Kid** \- hester is so mad

 **Rat** **Kid** \- shes screaming

 **Rat** Kid- There was a couple walking outside and now they’re just staring at us in the car as we drive away slowly

 **Coco** \- driving through the gates at residential

 **Bee** \- no, we live in thorngate

 **Coco** \- its a song

 **bitchwitch** \- SCREW THIS WE’RE GOING SHOPPING

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Coco** \- so we pulled over

 **Coco** \- ani is trying to control hester

 **Coco** \- hester doesn’t know where we are, and shes SCREAMING into anis hoodie

 **Bee** \- I am amused and scared.

 **Trapped** \- me and hort are on our way, if you want to know.Tell Hester to calm her fuck down

_**Private Messaging- deadboi and princess dick** _

**Deadboi** \- get off ur lazy ass im here

 **Princess** **dick** \- no

 **Princess** **dick** \- you said you would carry me

 **Deadboi** \- I thought we were kidding

 **Princess** **dick** \- *waits*

 **Deadboi** \- the doors locked idiot

 **Princess** **dick** \- my windows not

 **Deadboi** \- oh juliet, juliet, let down your hair

 **Princess** **dick** \- thats rapunzel you dumbass

 **Princess** **dick** \- fine ill just do the door lemme get my shoes

 **Deadboi** \- okay my princess

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Coco** \- ok, anis driving so we’ll get there in a while.

 **Bee** \- thank god. Reenas already here and we’re watching who framed roger rabbit

 **Bee** \- hows hest doing with the fact she can’t navigate for shit?

 **bitchwitch** \- fuck you and your fancy ass neighborhood and all your goddamn cold-de-sacs

 **Bee** \- not too good i guess

 **Daddyissues** \- we’re on our way we stopped for dinner

 **Bee** \- what did you guys get?

 **Issues** \- Pizza

 **Mommyissues** \- They had pizza, I had a salad.

 **Issues** \- Soph, I saw you sneaking pieces of my pizza

 **Mommyissues** \- You have no proof.

 **Issues** \- we’ll see

  
 **Trapped** \- your _butler_ let us in, wheres the coat hanger

 **Bee** \- just come to the basement, fourth door on the right

 **Druggedweasel** \- jeez

 **Rat** **Kid** \- yeah we’re here too.

 **Princess** **dick** \- dude Nick's car is nice

 **deadboi** \- you hate my car

 **Rat** **Kid** \- how are u messaging and why r u messaging you guys are together

 **Princess** **dick** \- I dont, my cars just nicer

 **Deddboi** \- why can't you admit my car is the best

 **Princess** **dick** \- I will only admit it if I have some pizza over my head

 **Deadboi** \- or I could beat you up

 **Princess** **dick** \- you wouldn't

 **Deadboi** \- I would

 **Princess** **dick** \- I like my idea better

 **Deadboi** \- who likes getting beat? Honestly.

 **Trapped** \- Mascohists or however you spell itttttttyopoiujklkn

 **Dick** \- thats not how you spell it or masochist

 **druggedweasel** \- bee just threw a pillow at him cause his screen was too bright and i think hes trying not to cry

 **druggedweasel** \- [image sent]

 **Princess** **dick** \- bruh RAV REAL MEN DONT CRY OVER GODDAMN PILLOWS

 **Trapped** \- hoW ABOUT YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH PRINCESS DICK, THE ZIPPER HIT ME IN THE NOSE

 **Bee** \- THE ZIPPER WILL HIT YOU AGAIN IF YOU DONT TURN DOWN YOUR BRIGHTNESS, DO YOU SEE HOW CONCENTRATED REENA IS ON THIS MOVIE?

_**Private Messaging- Bee and Druggedweasel** _

**Druggedweasel** \- omg

 **Druggedweasel** \- YOU LIKE REENA

 **Bee** \- fuck you

 **Druggedweasel** \- THIS IS GOLDDDDDDDD

 **Druggedweasel** \- YOU LIKE REENA!!!!

 **Druggedweasel** \- i didnt know you had feelings

 **Bee** \- you’re going to stop feeling if you dont shut up

 **Bee** \- plus, i know who you like

 **Druggedweasel** \- fuck you

 **Bee** \- no thanks, i dont think im your type and i know youre not mine soooo

 **Druggedweasel** \- i swear we’re like 13 year olds

 **Bee** \- hot 13 year olds.

 **Druggedweasel** \- ehhhh idk about that

 **Bee** \- i hate u

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Bee** \- you guys are taking a suspiciously long time getting here

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Druggedweasel** \- since you guys arent here yet can you get us some band aids and mountain dew

 **Druggedweasel** \- per request of our favorite demon monster ravan

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Druggedweasel** \- bandaids for me too ig he read my messages :(((

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Princess** **dick** \- yo can we get some party poppers too?

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Deadboi** \- you don’t have to but pizza rolls? Ill pay you back?

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Princess** **dick** \- yoooo had a vision. Thanos is goin down my man scott lang is going to end this once and for all. Stay woke fam.

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Druggedweasel** \- fight me

**_‘Heathens galore’_ **

**Daddyissues** \- assholes

 **Bee** \- you’re 50 minutes late, im counting dipshit. get me some m and ms. kiko wants a milky way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments and kudos, I feel a bit more alive every time I read them.


	13. i've got the horses in the back (or, hangovers suck ass)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys ask for more additional unnecessary chats for the story so it becomes more confusing and the plot thickens?   
> No?   
> Lol ok.

**THE NEXT MORNING**

_**Beatrix has made a chat titled ‘gossip girls-ver.69’** _

_**Beatrix has added Kiko, Sophie, Reena, and Agatha to ‘gossip girls-ver.69’** _

**Beatrix** \- okay, mourning report.

 **Reena** \- dont u mean morning

 **Beatrix** \- honey, did i stutter

 **Beatrix** -Kiko and tristan are sleeping together in the bath tub, idk how the fuck they ended up in there but they look damn comfortable, nick and chaddick are sleeping together on the couch, prolly canon now, rav is sleeping on the couch, and horts on the beanbag,

 **Beatrix** \- WAIT

 **Beatrix** -[image sent]

 **Beatrix** \- THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS

 **Sophie** \- OMG TO WAKE UP TO THIS TEA ITS BETTER THEN COFFEE HONESTLY

 **Agatha** \- whoa

 **Agatha** \- is that a dora banaid

 **Beatrix** \- these names are making me sad

_**Beatrix has changed username to BeanieBOO** _

_**Beatrix has changed Agathas username to Uggs** _

_**Beatrix has changed Sophies username to Barbie** _

_**Beatrix has changed Kikos name to KikiDoYouLoveMe** _

_**Beatrix has changed Reenas name to Raggedyann** _

**Uggs** \- why aren’t ani and hest here?

 **BeanieBOO** \- they dont like gossip has much as us, plus hester would lowkey kill me

 **Barbie** \- ok but are we not going to talk about chadnick being canon

 **Uggs** \- it is?

 **Uggs** \- nice

 **Raggedyann** \- chadnick?

 **Barbie** \- the ship name, duh

 **Raggedyann** \- what would hort and ravans ship name be?

 **Barbie** \- Hehe

 **Barbie** \- Ravort

 **Uggs** \- fuck no

 **Uggs** \- thast a terrible name

 **BeanieBOO** \- OH MY LORD

  
 **BeanieBOO** \- I ALMOST DED

 **BeanieBOO** \- I WAS STANDING OVER RAVAN AND HORT TEXTING AND RAVAN WOKE UP AND HE WAS JUST GLARING AT ME

 **BeanieBOO** \- SO I TOLD HIM I WAS TRYING TO CATCH A POKEMON

 **BeanieBOO** \- he just snorted, rolled over, and told me to let him sleep

 **BeanieBOO** \- They’re still holding hands

 **Uggs** \- im too tired for this sophie get back here and cuddle me and ted

 **Barbie** \- mmmm but i just finished my concealer!

 **Uggs** \- [image sent]

 **Barbie** \- omw

 **RaggedyAnn** \- on this chat guys?

 **Uggs** \- its not even a bad pic

 **BeanieBOO** \- is that a shoulder i see

**_‘heathens galore’_ **

**Princess dick** \- does anyone else feel hungover? I feel hungover.

**_Bee has changed her name to Biatch_ **

**Biatch** \- what in the heck was in those sour cherries

**_Mommyissues has added Kiko and Tristan to ‘heathens galore’_ **

**Tristan** \- what in the heck is ‘heathens galore’

 **Kiko** \- i’m not a heathen!

 **Tristan** \- of course not dear

 **Biatch** \- you are now

 _ **Private Messaging- Daddyissues, Mommyissues and Issues**_  
 **Daddyissues** \- Im mad at chaddick

 **Issues** \- mmhmm

 **Daddyissues** \- I didn’t even say one thing and he thinks its all my fault, but I was satisfied with what I got, and he just wants to blame everything on me ever since I broke his pool table but it was an accident and I’ve tried explaining that to to him but he never listens to me and everything that happens, happens for a reason, NOT ME. I didn't even say one thing and then he asked me the whole thing and I didn't even do it once! He never even listens to anyone except everyone but me if that makes sense, which it does cause i say so. He’s so mean to me, he would never treat Beyonce like this. Its cause I can do 125 reps and he can only get to 120 without dying, which is so lame, but I’m the bad guy? Why am I always the bad guy? I’m not a bad guy! I’m adorable! Gosh, I think I had a pot brownie. Would Kiko make pot brownies, or were they just really good brownies? Also, Chaddick just thinks about himself all the time. I swear, he does. Its like he's the only person on Earth. So stupid. 

 **Issues** \- is it alright if I’m confused

 **Mommyissues** \- please tell me this isnt about you eating all the pizza rolls

 **Issues** \- HE DID WHAT?

 **Daddyissues** \- all this for pizza rolls

 **Daddyissues** \- i made a meme to show how victimized i am

 **Daddyissues** \- https://i.imgflip.com/2xlt3m.jpg

 **Mommyissues** \- oh my god are you texting us while you’re in the bathroom?

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Kiko** \- guys i dont think tedros is alright

 **Kiko** \- he just came into the bathroom, put down all the toliet seats, and started crying about pizza rolls

 **Issues** \- what was in those sour cherry candies

 **Issues-** kiko you didn't make pot brownies right? 

 **Princess** **dick** \- the morning after huh folks

 **Trapped** \- ughhhhh

 **Biatch** \- oof there he is!

 **Trapped** \- Glad to grace you all with the presence, im sure

 **Biatch** \- busy night Ravan?

 **Mommyissues** \- anything fun happen?

 **Issues** \- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡ °)

 **Trapped** -

_**Trapped has left ‘heathens galore’** _

**Mommyissues** \- how the fuck 

 **Biatch** \- we’re in the same house

 **Kiko** \- aww, you guys are so mean

 **Kiko** \- I think they left, Horts gone too

 **Biatch** \- you don't say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda want to write out what happened at the party.


	14. horses in da back has entered heathens galore fic

  
**Hester has created a chat titled 'horses in da back’**  
**Hester has added Anadil, Dot, Sophie, Hort, Ravan, Vex, Mona and Archane to ‘horses in da back’**

 **Hester has changed Anadils name to ‘Thing the second’**  
**Hester has changed Hesters name to ‘Thing uno’**  
**Hester has changed Dots name to “Thing three”**  
**Hester has changed Sophies name to “Buttercup’**  
**Hester has changed Horts name to “Jacob’**  
**Hester has changed Ravans name to’ Bella”**  
**Hester has changed Vexs name to “Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins”**  
**Hester has changed Monas name to”Greenbean”**  
**Hester has changed Archane name to “Smokin”**

 **Jacob** \- ok

 **Jacob** -wait, what the fuck

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins** \- what the fuck

 **Smokin** -the fuck

 **Bella** \- fuck

 **Greeniebean** \- ck

 **Thing uno-** i know you must be confused

 **Thing uno-** but i don’t care soooo

 **Thing uno-** i wanted to make this gc because i felt like it

 **Buttercup** \- Reasonable answer

 **Thing three** \- weird flex but okay

 **Smokin-** im tryin watch tua what could you possibly want from me?

 **Thing second** \- money

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-** why tf is my name cotton headed ninny muggins?

 **Thing** **uno** \- hehe

 **Thing** **uno** \- you ever see the movie elf.

 **Cotton** **Headed** **Ninny Muggins-** fuck

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins** \- I AM NOT AN ELF

 **Bella** \- nor am i a female named Bella

 **Thing uno** \- hehe

 **Thing uno** \- ever see twilight

 **Thing three** \- it works cause he always has like one expression

 **Jacob** \- im losing my personality please explain who tf jacob is

 **Thing three** \- HESTER YOU DIDNT

 **Thing Three** \- you ship that?

 **Thing three** \- Team Edward baby.

 **Thing uno** \- i feel like hort would be a were wolf

 **Jacob** \- whys that

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins** \- ur hairy arms

 **Thing uno** \- that moment when vex actually says something smart

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins** \- that wasn’t even smart in the slightest

 **Thing second** \- andddd he ruined it. you ruined it vex

 **Jacob** \- i dont have hairy arms

 **Bella** \- You kinda do

 **Jacob** \- Is that a bad thing?

 **Bella-** not really

 **Greenbean** \- having to wake up 23883863 notifs wasn;t the way i thought my sunday morning would go

 **Thing** **three** \- Mona!!!

 **Greenbean** \- sup dot

 **Greenbean** \- so this where the public executions are right?

 **Bella** \- and public humilations

 **Thing** **uno** \- dibs on being the executioner

 **Bella** \- Judge

 **Thing** **second** \- no i want judge

 **Bella** \- no its mine

 **Jacob** \- he licked it its his

 **Thing** second- fine, im the one who collects the skulls

 **Bella** \- fine by me

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins** \- umm can i have jury

 **Thing three** \- i want jury too

 **Greenbean** \- are we seriously doing this

 **Thing uno** \- was that a volunteer to be our victim?

 **Thing three** \- Yay!

_**Greenbean has left ‘horses in da back’** _

**Thing three** \- great now whos going to be the chill cool peep in the chat

_**Thing three has invited Greenbean to ‘horses in da back’** _

**Greenbean** \- im gonna take my horse down the old time road

 **Thing** **uno** \- im gunna rideeeee

 **Jacob** \- till i cant no more

 **Smokin** \- I GOT DEM HORSES IN THE BACK

 **Thing** **second** \- i smell broke in this chatroom

 **Smokin** \- increbible. Everything you just said was wrong.

 **Bella** \- STOP with the star wars references

 **Smokin** \- Rav i love you but you’re a dick sometimes

 **Bella** \- arch i love you too but you’re an idiot sometimes

 **Smokin** \- <3

 **Thing** **uno** \- be aware of the closest any of us will ever get to love

 **Jacob** \- thats depressing

 **Bella** \- Just like our lives

 **Greenbean** \- this went to memey to depressing in about 0.0333333333 seconds

 **Smokin** \- yeah it really did

 **Thing** **three** \- cierto

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-** oh my gosh dot you speak spanish?

 **Thing** **three** \- i did?

 **Thing** **three** \- sorry, im on one with my cousin and we speak spanish

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins** \- yo no sabe tu hablabas espanol!

 **Thing** **three** \- yo tambien!

 **Thing** **uno** \- is anyone else just google translating this

 **Jacob** \- I am

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-** idiota

 **Jacob** \- I didn’t need translate to understand what that meant, whos the idiot now

 **Bella** \- still you

 **Jacob** \- horts an idiot, jacob is a genius however

 **Thing** **second** \- jerykll and hyde

 **Jacob** \- did u just call me a jerk

 **Bella** \- Why is everyone insulting Hort?

 **Jacob** \- thank you!

 **Jacob** \- someone who gets my pain.

 **Bella** \- everyone knows thats my thing

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins** \- they had us in the first half, not gonna lie

 **Jacob** \- im fine if you cared

 **Thing second-** I don’t

**Thing second has kicked Jacob from ‘horses in da back’**

**Bella** \- Dear god, really ani?

 **Thing second-** what, getting defensive over your man?

 **Bella** \- shut up, he’s not my man

 **Thing** **second** \- bs, u two were holding hands at beas

 **Smokin** \- RAVAN WTF I WAS RIGHT!

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-** horavan is canon folks

 **Bella** \- why does everyone say that, its really not.

 **Buttercup** \- ooh, nice ship name vex

 **Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins** \- why thank you.

 **Bella** \- im deleting these when Hort comes back, which he will. just- dont talk about it.

_**Bella has removed 8 messages from ‘horses in da back’** _

**Buttercup** \- ok, can i tell you guys something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the idea of a latina! Dot, and I feel like this was a cool way to show my culture? Not sure, but typing Spanish is alot different then speaking it, so I tried my best! Tell me if I got anything wrong. Heres the translation.
> 
> cierto- true
> 
> yo no sabe tu hablabas espanol!- I didn't know you spoke spanish!
> 
> Yo tambien- I as well


	15. special 420 chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is really sad, but also i couldnt pass up an opportunity

**'heathens galore'**

 

 **Druggedweasel-** ay y'all know what today is 

 **Trapped** \- ofc i know what today is 

 **Bee-** duh

 **Coco-** whats today? 

 **Issues-** ummm

 **Bee-** my MOMS BIRTHDAY 

 **Coco-** oh, tell her i said happy birthday!

 **Bee-** yeah im getting her some flowers

 **Bee-** but millie said they look they  _weed_ s

 **Druggedweasel-** whats your moms name again? _mari_ , right? and your dad is _juana_? 

 **Coco-** im sure they look fine, what flower is ugly? 

 **Issues-** sophie when shes mad

 **Issues-** omg dont tell her i said that 

**_Trapped has taken a screenshot_ **

**Trapped-** bet

 **Issues-** ill give you my fruit  _roll up._

 **Trapped-** hmmm ok _  
_

 **Kiko-**  wow who need ravan loved fruit roll ups so much

 **Trapped-** im all about them

 **Snake charmer-** i see what you guys are doing. super mature

 **Bee-** reens pls 

 **Snake charmer-** its not  _dope_  

 **Bee-** ayyyy

 **Druggedweasel-** ayyyy

 **Issues-** ayyyy

 **Kiko** \- i dont understand, whats going on?

 **deadboi-** they're talking about *train rushes by*

 **Kiko** \- what?

 **Snake** **chamer** \- oh for goodness sake its *phone rings* hol up

 **Kiko** \- im honestly so confused

 **Tristan** \- oh babe they're talking about *lamp post falls on top*

 **Princesss dick** \- happy national drug day y'all

 **Trapped** \- CHADDICK WTF YOU ASSHOLE I CAN'T YELL AT YOU 

 **Kiko** \- ohhhh

 **Druggedweasel** \- what did he do now

 **Trapped** \- smashed his hydro flask on my fingers

 **Princess** **dick** - feel cute, might smash my hydroflask on your fingers later, idk

 **Kiko** \- oh. 

 **Coco** \- well then. 

 **Kiko-** 420 whatcha blazin

 **Tristan-** what the fuck

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for this chapter guys. also, its not important in the fic, just a thing i thought of while chilling


	16. *nervously hops*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm sooooooo sorry, i've been so busy lately. might have to put the story on hold until my 'nature valley' ass life gets its shit together 
> 
> and by nature valley i mean falling apart faster then you fuckin blink

**Thing three** \- of course sophie!

 **Greenbean** \- sure

 **Thing uno-** sure, but no feelings ok

 **Buttercup** \- you guys know i love teddy and aggy, but sometimes i just feel left out

 **Buttercup** \- idk. Im not even sure i still like teddy as much. I love aggy, but her and teddy are so good together. Hes so good to her. i just need something for myself, but ive been sharing everything with aggy. god, i love them so much, but not in the same way anymore. i dont think i was ever really bi, just a lesbian. And i cant separate aggy and teddy.

 **Greenbean** \- thanks for telling us

 **Thing** **uno** \- youre in a bigass threesome, i understand how you feel left out.

 **Bella** \- your happiness is important sophie.

 **Jacob** \- and you are young. You can make choices for yourself, and experiment. And if it doesn’t go well, then its not your fault for trying something new. You feel?

 **Buttercup** \- who knew you guys had hearts?

 **Buttercup** \- Thanks you guys

 **Smokin** \- you’re one of us, whether you like it or not

 **Thing** **second** \- relationships sound hard af. Wouldnt want to be in one

 **Thing** **uno** \- yea same

 **Thing** **second** \- unless it was with someone who really gets me, you dig?

 **Thing** **uno** \- i dig, i would date my best friend cause they get me the best.

 **Thing** **second** \- i think best friends last the longest when they date, but it also makes things awkward when they break up.

 **Smokin** \- thats true but if the friendship and relationship was strong enough the friendship would’ve lasted.

 **Bella** \- yeah, best friends usually get married or break up early i think. Me and hester didn’t work out cause we were both gay and way better off as friends.

 **Thing** **uno** \- get fucked 100

  
_**‘heathens galore’**_

 **Princess** **dick** \- school sucks ass

 **Bitchwitch** \- im too sad to find out what made jefferson and madison break up

 **Issues** \- its adams, not madison

 **Bitchwitch** \- sad, i ship jeffmads

 **Princess** **dick** \- you actually ship historical characters?

 **Bitchwitch** \- you ever see hamilton?

 **Issues** \- lol hester what class are you in?

 **Bitchwitch** \- saders

 **Bitchwitch** \- your dads

 **Issues** \- hes not my dad

 **Bitchwitch** \- your father figures

 **Princess dick** \- he likes you the most out of everyone

 **Issues** \- cause im only 20 percent douche

 **Princes** **dick** \- im 89, i see what you mean

 **Bitchwitch** \- 69

 **Bitchwitch** \- nvm im at 72 for that joke

 **Bitchwitch** \- i was actually at sixty nine

 **Rat Kid-** i feel like you should be at 420

 **Rat kid-** oof im at 76 percent now

 **Bitchwitch** \- i wonder why

 **Rat** **kid** \- me too ;)

 **Bitchwitch** \- i feel like agatha is like doveys kid too

 **Rat** **kid** \- suck up

 **Issues** \- im really not

 **Issues-** like i said, lower douche percentage

 **Coco** \- whats a douche percenatge?

 **Issues** \- something you dont have dear

 **Tristan** \- mines 34 if you believe it or not

 **Coco** \- lesso is legit so done with sophie

 **Coco** \- [image sent]

 **Issues** \- is she sleeping?!

 **Coco** \- shes just

 **Coco** \- laying there, head on desk

 **Coco** \- sad af

_**Coco has invited Druggedweasel to ‘heathens galore’** _

**Druggedweasel** \- guys ive been binging fresh prince and i just found out will is going to be genie in the new aladdin

 **Issues** \- you uncultured fuck

 **Tristan** \- i kind of have to agree, everyone knows that

 **Mommyissues** \- why do you think hes coloring himself blue in the theme when the po-po finds him

 **Druggedweasel** \- ive been grounded from tv, dont make me smash my hydroflask on your fingers

 **Bitchwitch** \- what is it with you guys and hydroflasks and smashing them over fingers.

 **Rat Kid-** and always getting grounded

 **Druggedweasel** \- i got grounded cause I tried to drown my father, fuck off.

 **Trapped** \- the fact you failed at it though makes it worse

 **Druggedweasel** \- if i remember, your parents are still alive so whos the failure now

 **Trapped** \- what... does that even mean

 **bitchwitch** \- both of you are failures

 **Trapped** \- so are you

 **Kiko** \- none of you are failures shut up

 **Issues** \- my mom wont get me an easter basket

 **Daddyissues** \- how old are you aggy

 **Issues** \- old enough to know the number to child protective services

 **Tristan** \- #cpscares

 **Daddyissues** \- you are NOT calling the cps on your mom. Ill get you a basket

 **Issues** \- babe im kidding, i dont need one but ily

 **Daddyissues** \- ilyt, and i wanna get you one anyway

 **Bitchwitch** \- damn, i should get a sugar daddy and mommy, agatha must be living the life

 **Issues** \- they aren’t my sugar parents, i try not to make them buy me things. Im just happy to be with them

 **Tristan** \- thats adorable

 **Deadboi** \- this chat is still here? Damn

 **Bee** \- NICK YOU ARE NOW MY SON

 **Deadboi** \- shit

 **Bee** \- I AM GROUNDING YOU

 **Princess** **dick** \- why are you grounding him

 **Bee** \- little fucker fuckin tried to tell me endgame was out and captain marvel died

 **Deadboi** \- in my defense i was kidding

 **Issues** \- you havent seen it?

 **Bee** \- no im saving my endgame virginity for me and reena, and she was busy this week. Probably next week

 **Deadboi** \- all in all, important question. Kill fuck marry ironman, thor, or captain?

 **Bee** \- i like brunettes, so marry iron man, f thor and kill cap

 **Daddyissues** \- kill cap???? No no no, cap is the best.

 **Bee** \- agree to disagree

 **Daddyissues** \- im not gay but i would so do it with cap

 **Bee** \- bs

 **Daddyissues** \- what?

 **Bee** \- just calling bs lol

 **Daddyissues** \- okay superman, wonder woman or batman?

 **Issues** \- marry wonder woman, f batman, kill superman

 **Deadboi** \- this chick tf supermans hot

 **Issues** \- sorry man, i like wonderwoman too much

 **Issues** \- but like, gal gadot wonderwoman

 **Kiko** \- i agree with aggy

 **Issues** \- damn kiko were you just ghosting us

 **Kiko** \- yeah sorry

 **Druggedweasel** \- i got one, i got one!

 **Druggedweasel** \- the coven

 **Issues** \- mf

 **Daddyissues** \- imma die no matter what i say

 **Bee** \- why is this so hard!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive accidently started shipping something. its not up to me if it makes it into the story, im sorry


	17. writers block is a bitch

hey guys, im so sorry! i dont know if anyone reads this anymore, but I promise I'll try to update. I've been really busy lately, trying to get a job, family things, finals, but I'm still alive and will update as soon as possible. 


	18. i pulled a sneaky on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> endgame tore out my heart. also for all you book fans! The Hate U Give. what a treasure. 9/10. would recommend.

_**gossip girls ver.69** _

**BeanieBOO** \- y’all i gotta be honest wit ya

 **Uggs** \- okay?

 **BeanieBOO** \- the reason the coven arent on here is because i want to matchmake for all them

 **Barbie** \- you ship them all together?

 **Kikidoyouloveme** \- i see the potenial

 **BeanieBOO** \- no. u daft bafoon. Hestadil

 **Raggedyann** \- u sound like lesso with those hurty wordys 

 **Uggs** \- oh

 **Barbie** \- damn would’ve lowkey shipped that

 **BeanieBOO** \- dot is ace i think

 **Kikidoyouloveme** \- lies she thrists for the robert pattinson

 **Barbie** \- the albino from twilight?

 **Uggs** \- hahaha dot watches twlight

 **Barbie** \- aggy hush you made me and teddy watch it with you for your birthday

 **Uggs** \- how dARE YOU exPOSE ME

 **Raggedyann** \- twilight is dead. Robert Saint Pattys is going to be batman

 **Uggs** \- wasn’t he in harry potter?

 **Kikidoyouloveme** \- god he was so cute in harry potter and the goblet of dehumanization or whatever it was

 **Kikidoyouloveme** \- dont tell tristan i said that

 **Uggs** \- tea

 **Barbie** \- he honestly was. all the cute ones die. I mean, look at fucking anakin skywalker

 **Uggs** \- hes not dead tho

 **Barbie** \- but he lost his cuteness and its you die or you lose it

 **Raggedyann** \- interesting concept

 **BeanieBOO** \- guys lets get on topic. Hestadil

 **Uggs** \- thats the hot topic here ladies

 **BeanieBOO** \- you bafoon

 **Barbie** according to urban dictonary bafoon means ‘A moron who thinks he is smarter than others but cannot spell the word 'buffoon' ‘

 **BeanieBOO** \- what sophie you wanna fight?

 **Raggedyann** \- girls BACK TO THE TOPIC

 **Uggs** \- look guys. Who knows hester best? Who can make her see how she feels?

 **Barbie** \- Anadil

 **Kikidoyouloveme** \- anadil

 **Uggs** \- BESIDES fucKING ANADIL JEez

 **Barbie** \- babe. chill

 **BeanieBOO** \- probably ravan

 **Raggedyann** \- so he would know how to get them together

 **Uggs** \- me. I know her next best

 **Barbie** \- i do believe this could be used to our advantage

_**‘heathens galore’** _

**Daddyissues** _ **-**_ you’re a millenial and its 7am.   
choose your path:  
⚪️tweet “lets get this bread”   
⚪️take your morning juul hit   
⚪️cry and eat toaster strudels  
⚪️stare at the ceiling for two hours   
⚪️notify everyone how sad you are

 **Mommyissues** \- none of the above??

 **Daddyissues** \- i think you notify everyone how pretty you are

 **Mommyissues** \- aWe

 **Rat** **Kid** \- aWe *vomit noises*

 **Daddyissues** \- wbu anadil

 **Rat** **Kid** \- hmmmmm stare at the ceiling for two hours

 **Kiko** \- i would tweet lets get this bread

 **Issues** \- im not even up at seven!!!

 **Daddyissues** \- wow

 **Deadboi** \- uhhh lemme get drink FORTY MONSTERS IN THE MORNING

 **Issues** \- okay kyle

 **Daddyissues** \- hes craving his own path my baby boy

 **Deadboi** \- jk jk probably notify everyone how sad i am

 **Bitchwitch** \- take a hit off my juul cause im cringy af

 **Druggedweasel** \- same

 **Bitchwitch** \- I DONT HAVE A JUUL I WAS KIDDING hort

 **Druggedweasel** \- oh.

Princess dick- how about defeating lego harry potter

 **Deadboi** \- oh shit

  
 **Bitchwitch** \- damn

 **Issues** \- repect for my op over here

 **Tristan** \- legend

 **Bee** \- all kneel for our princess

 **Deadboi** \- f for respect

 **Mommyissues** \- dick is our very own princess peach change my mind.

 **Princess dick** \- oh god


	19. Chapter 19

_**'heathens galore'** _

  
**Deadboi- happy pride let's play smash or pass**

**Issues** \- I'm in

 **Bitchwitch** \- uhhhhhhhhhh okay

 **Druggedweasel** \- I feel like ill regret this

 **Trapped** \- probably will

 **Issues** \- whoa how did you get it here. This is a clean christan server

 **Trapped** \- I own this chat now.

 **Mommyissues** \- HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING THIS

 **Mommyissues** \- yes I'll play s or p

 **Kiko** \- okay let's do this

 **Deadboi** \- YAY! Simon cowell

 **Princess** **dick** \- SMASH

 **Mommyissues** \- what the fuckkkkkkkkk

**_Trapped has taken a screenshot of ‘heathens galore’_ **

**Kiko** \- pass

 **Trapped** \- like simon would, dick

 **Princess** **dick** \- ok u know what

 **Princess** **dick** \- i’m about to say it

 **Trapped** \- _say it_

 **Princess** **dick** \- i didnt care that you broke your elbow

 **Bitchwitch** \- stop flirting and totally pass

 **Princess** **dick** \- if flirting is death threats, then okay

 **Deadboi** \- i dont think they’re flirting hester

 **Mommyissues-** dont worry nick, they're not 

 **Trapped** \- i hate you hest

 **Bitchwitch** \- same. Ok, what about john Mulaney

 **Kiko** \- the guy on the show?

 **Bitchwitch** \- what show?

 **Kiko** \- um, idk i cant remember but the one who is always in a schoolboy suit? He is mannequin sexual and drinks a lot of coffee

 **Bitchwitch** \- what the fuckkkkkkkkk

 **Mommyissues** \- smash

 **Deadboi** \- hmmmm smash

 **Princess** **dick** \- pass

 **Druggedweasel** \- nah. Too white

 **Mommyissues** \- lol this is boring. We’re talking about people we’ll probably never meet, or have a chance with. What about me?

 **Bitchwitch** \- you fall under people we’ll never have a chance with.

 **Mommyissues** \- probably. i am devoted

 **Kiko** \- aw, cute!

 **Druggedweasel** \- what aboutttt patrick stump

 **Mommyissues** \- smash

 **Trapped** \- smash

 **Kiko** \- smash (i had to google him XD)

 **Deadboi** \- smash

 **Bitchwitch** \- smash

 **Princess** **dick** \- smash

 **Issues** \- yo im late but smash

 **Mommyissues** \- did we just agree all on something?

 **Bitchwitch** \- i know i'm surprised too

_**Trapped has renamed ‘heathens galore’ ‘Would Smash Patrick Stump’** _

**Kiko** \- i like his smile, its cute

 **Deadboi** \- yeah it is

 **Druggedweasel** \- so donald duck, s or p?

 **Issues** \- HORT YOU ALREADY WENT

 **Issues** \- donald duck guys?

 **Mommyissues** \- aggy

 **Rat** **Kid** \- hard pass

 **Mommyissues** \- lets stop using cartoons and use real people. Like anadil, for example. Smash or pass?

 **Rat** **Kid** \- hard pass

 **Issues** \- probably smash

 **Bitchwitch** \- smash

 **Druggedweasel** \- eh pass. No offense

 **Rat** **Kid** \- lets talk about something else

 **Rat** **Kid** \- for example, anything else

 **Deadboi** \- its pride

 **Issues** \- yes?

 **Deadboi** \- imma do it

 **Trapped** \- do what ?

 **Snake** **Charmer** \- nick

 **Snake** **Charmer** \- oh god nick dont

 **Mommyissues** \- whats going on?

**Private Messaging- deadboi and Princess Dick**

**Deadboi** \- im at your window

 **Princess** **dick** \- its a school night. The last school night

 **Deadboi** \- really?

 **Princess** **dick** \- coming

_**'Would Smash Patrick Stump’** _

**Bee** \- I GO TO FUCKING AFTER SCHOOL STUDY SESSION FOR ONCE AND I MISS THIS 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im trying my best, but I dOnt kNoW hOw tO wRiTe rOmAnCe oR fRieNdShip


	20. Chapter 20

'Horses in da back' 

 

**Smokin-** i is lesbian for natilie portman guess what

**_Bella has changed their username to Ravan_ **

**Ravan** \- that's nice 

**Smokin-** who was your sexual awakening 

**Ravan-** Hester 

**Smokin-** not like that, who made you realize you were gay

**Ravan-** hester

**Smokin-** A GUY

**Ravan-** oh. 

**Ravan-** donald Glover 

**Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-** that's cute 

**Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-** mine was Kurt Cobain

**Thing uno-** don't worry, Ravan was my sexual awakening as well

**Greenie Beanie-** thats kinky 

**Greenie Beanie-** mine was geena davis in beetle juice 

**Thing uno-** FUCK YEAH BEETLE JUICE IS THE SHIT 

**Greenie Beanie-** calm down hest

**Thing uno-** I LOVE TIM BURTON

**Greenie Beanie-** shhh shhh 

**Thing uno-** I GOT A TATTOO OF EDWARD SCISSORHANDS 

**Thing uno-** [image sent]

**Smokin-** yea so ani just got a major nose bleed 

**Ravan-** oh my god

**Smokin-** i dont even know where it came from its everywhere 

**Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins** \- hester just killed anadil while arch just watcHed 

**Jacob-** voyeur 

**Thing second-** shes lying 

**Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-** ew obvious denial 

**Thing second-** ew an insecure bitch 

**Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-**

**Jacob-** oH ShIT 

**Thing uno-** nice one 

**Thing second-** ik 

**Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-** _ itsfortheshipitsfortheshipitsfortheship  _

**Ravan-** c’mon vex you’ve got this. Just hold on. 

**Jacob-** single dads are scary 

**Jacob-** just heard my dad call the chinese food place just to vent about me 

**Jacob-** im honestly flattered.

**Jacob-** he was on the phone for a long time 

**Thing uno-** thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth hort 

**Thing uno-** like, look at our names. Look at us. We’ll probably never have a normal family. all we have is each other 

**Buttercup-** thats good enough for me 

**Jacob-** and me 

**Jacob-** god. Life has been such a mess. nicola wont even talk to me. im trying to make things better. I dont know who am I… it helps you guys are here. 

**Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins-** where else do we have to be? 

**Smokin-** ughh wtf guys im crying?? We been known a fuckin crybaby 

**Buttercup-** u can cry. I cried when i watched the space between us 

**Ravan-** that wasn’t really sad though… 

**Buttercup-** i dont think you have feelings

**Greenie Beanie-** _ *me to my kermit puppet* _ you’re the only one whos making me come to my sinful senses, ill never love anyone the same, ill never feel ashamed of using you 

**Thing three-** i… what? 

**Jacob-** alrighty then. Good talk 

 

**Private Messaging- Deadboi and Snake Charmer**

**Deadboi-** i did it 

**Snake charmer** \- you frick- what??????? What!!! 

**Deadboi-** long story short- i have many bruises 

**Snake charmer-** -_-

**Deadboi-** not like that. I tried to climb into his window but he got scared and threw a sandal at me so i feel down 

**Snake charmer-** are you okay? 

**Deadboi-** hell yeah im great

**Deadboi-** and then he came down and he was mad and then i pretty much told him i wanted to send him memes about relationships and i wanted to see him everyday and cook pizza rolls together and someday drive away somewhere with him and i loved his gray eyes so much

**Deadboi-** and  _ then  _ i got the bruises

**Snake charmer-** oh my goddddddddddddddd

**Deadboi-**  no restraint 

**Snake charmer-** i could say the same about you

**Deadboi-** i barely told you anything tho i’m still at his house 

**Snake charmer-** good night 

**Deadboi-** very good night 

**Snake charmer-** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

**Private Messaging- Snake charmer and Bee**

**Snake charmer-** [screenshot sent} 

**Snake charmer-** {screenshot sent}

**Bee-** whattt?!?!?!

**Bee-** damn we didn’t even have to do anything. Im so teasing them tomorrow at graduation 

**Snake charmer-** lol right? Im happy for them though. Who knew?

**Bee-** we knew

**Bee-** movie night tonight?

**Snake charmer-** like you have to ask. Be there in a sec

**Bee-** seeya then :)

**Snake charmer-** seeya


	21. Chapter 21

'would smash Patrick stump'

 

**Daddyissues** \- we did it guys. 

 

**Deadboi-** one more year

 

**Rat Kid-** one more year

 

**Druggedweasel-** we can make it if we take it slow 😁

 

**Princess dick-** we already made it 

 

**Druggedweasel-** you aren't very NiCe tO mE 

 

**Princess dick-** ok I'm sorry 

 

**Issues** \- who wants to storm area 51 with me 

 

**Bitchwitch-** never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups 

 

**Tristan-** THE LANDMINES

 

**Issues has changed their username to ISSUES**

 

**ISSUES-** TRISTAN

 

**ISSUES-** DO YOU THINK SOME LANDMINES CAN STOP ME 

 

**Princess dick-** damn Agatha out here leaping landmines and being a badass

 

**ISSUES-** LOL

 

**Bitchwitch-** f for respects 

 

**Trapped-** we just graduated and this is what you guys are talking about fml

 

**_Tristan has changed their name to TRISTAN_ **

 

**TRISTAN-** AGATHA YOU'LL DIE 

 

**ISSUES-** LET'S GOOOOOOO 

 

**Princess dick-** joe was talking shit about you guys 

 

**Druggedweasel-** fuck joe joes mean 

 

**Deadboi-** whos joe 

 

**Princess dick-** joe mama

 

**Deadboi-** good god dick 

 

**ISSUES-** three words that should never be said

 

**Princess dick** \- nah he can say it we’re dating 

 

**ISSUES-** oh cool guys, congrats 

 

**Bee-** agatha you are so chill 

 

**ISSUES-** i kinda predicted it so not surprised they’re adorable 

 

**Daddyissues-** wait what 

 

**TRISTAN-** YAY FINALLY!

 

**Daddyissues-** since when? 

 

**Deadboi-** since last night 

 

**Daddyissues-** i 

 

**Daddyissues-** i had no idea that either of you liked dudes 

 

**Daddyissues-** or each other 

 

**Daddyissues-** um brb 

  
  
  


**Deadboi-** honestly we had no idea too 

 

**Bee-** everyone else but you two knew

 

**Bitchwitch-** true that, good job tho guys. Only took a few years

 

**Druggedweasel-** whats going on?

 

**Bitchwitch-** dick and nick are dating 

 

**Druggedweasel-** YES GOD ALMIGHTY YESSSSSS 

 

**Druggedweasel-** YESSS

 

**Druggedweasel-** i'm happy for you guys 

 

**Druggedweasel-** mostly myself tho 

 

**Deadboi-** thanks hort…? 

 

**Druggedweasel-** no problem. So how about Lessos speech this year? 

 

**ISSUES-** oh my god i was laughing so hard

 

**Bitchwitch-** we know dude i heard you all the way across the field 

 

**ISSUES-** “i will miss two of you toerags and you’ll never know who”

 

**Trapped-** its me 

 

**Rat Kid-** i don’t think so.

 

**Private Messaging- Bee and Druggedweasel**

 

**Bee-** you’re so stupid sometimes 

 

**Druggedweasel-** what’d i do this time 

 

**Bee-** heard what happened with nicola 

 

**Druggedweasel-** did you now 

 

**Druggedweasel-** YOU’RE ON THE PHONE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND SHES UPSET 

 

**Bee-** shes going off about something you SAID

 

**Bee-** nope no no no no nope. Not gonna work this time. You cant use my guilty pleasure playlist against me. plus, why do you know those lyrics dude

 

**Druggedweasel-** cause she doesn’t get your humor like i do 

 

**Bee-** hort honey 

 

**Druggedweasel-** listen. Listen. Ill keep all my feelings in here. And someday

 

**Druggedweasel-** ill die 

 

**Bee-** she wanted to get back together

 

**Druggedweasel-** yes

 

**Bee-** what did you say

 

**Druggedweasel-** i told her she really just wanted sophie 

 

**Druggedweasel-** and she started crying 

 

**Druggedweasel-** i think i did the right thing 

 

**Bee-** you did

 

**Bee-**  did you really think ravan and chad…?

 

**Druggedweasel-** no 

 

**Bee-** yes you totally did. Stop lying hort, you can be honest with me. 

 

**Druggedweasel-** i mean they act like they hate each other but they have this stupid bond ill never have with him

 

**Bee-** u 2 have your own bond. You don't need the one he has with dick.

 

**Druggedweasel-** tmi bea

 

**Bee** \- wdym?

 

**Bee** \- hort?

 

**Bee** \- oh you motherfucker 

 

**Druggedweasel** \- hahahahaha

 

**Bee** \- i wanna punch you

 

**Druggedweasel** \- in my perfect face?

 

**Bee** \- especially in your perfect face 

 

**Druggedweasel** \- ily 

 

**Bee** \- love ya too 

 

 

**‘Horse in da back’**

 

**Thing uno** \- alright big question time cody ko, drew gooden, or danny gonzalez?

**Smokin-** who? 

 

**Jacob** \- no don’t make me choose from my favorite ex viner youtubers 

 

**Greenbean-** road work ahead? Uh yea i sure hope it does

 

**Greenbean-** diE FOR EACH OTHER

 

**Greenbean-** chillin fam hbu

 

**Greanbean-** those guys

 

**Thing three-** whos the last one?

 

**Greenbean-** the ‘people focus way too much on outer beauty. U wanna know what really matters? How much money you have’ guy

 

**Thing the second-** still got no clue 

 

**Greenbean-** ughh the ew wtf meme guy 

 

**Thing three-** OH 

 

**Jacob-** damn i didnt know you were such a memer

  
**Greenbean-** im a sad high schooler of course im a memer


End file.
